me, drinking tea: pls leaf water….sage my body of the demons of my past…steam my colon…let me know peace
me, drinking coffee: I beg of u bean juice….cleanse me of the curse of sleep….make my heart beat like a tribal drum in ceremony….let me conquer this building
(via thebootydiaries)
James Potter was so lucky his best friend could turn into a dog it’s all the beauty of having a pet with none of the responsibility
Actually I just thought about Sirius Black and I take it back being friends with him was probably as much responsibility as having like ten dogs
(via selfeffacing-jokes)
(via hand)
everyone who died at the battle of hogwarts missed All Star by Smash Mouth’s release two days later
(via perhapsarat)
being a macroorganism is so stressful. i want to know what my cells are doing. I don’t like how unsupervised they are
(via selfeffacing-jokes)
